For too long, I avoided making amends with a family member. We have never been really close, but I thought our relationship could improve if only I apologized for any harm I had caused in the past. So, it was with humility that I went to him to ask his forgiveness and offer to do what was necessary to repair the damage done. He smugly scoffed at the notion that our relationship was strained by past events. He did, however proceed to tell me what is wrong with our relationship now and why he holds contempt for me in is heart. It seems that the trouble is that I am not at a place in my life where he thinks I should be. From his point of view, I have it easier than him. He works very hard to have nice things and “fit in” with colleagues, neighbors, friends, and strangers. His values are quantitative and he expects that mine should be too. From my perspective, he does what he does to have the things that he wants, and therefore he should be happy. But he is not. He is resentful.
Me? Today I am the happiest I have been in my entire life. I cherish my children, my friends, my biological family and my chosen family. I do work to help others for free. I have awakened spiritually. I spend every day of my life striving to become a better person, to grow mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I have daily conscious contact with my higher power. I hold love, compassion, serenity, and gratitude in my heart as my most valued possessions. I know how to be happy, and I can do so whenever I choose. Needless to say I was a bit shocked at his reasoning for our strained relationship.
I told him that my reason for speaking to him that day was to clear away the wreckage of the past. If I am not who or where he thinks I should be, then that resentment is his to own, not mine. I have no desire to live his life. I tried it before and felt dead inside.
Having swept the dirt from my doorstep, I thanked him for the opportunity to make amends, and silently wished him luck with his resentment.
Related articles
- Resentment (gleaningsinloveoflife.wordpress.com)
- People who can be happy and whole when alone are best prepared for being with others. Today I can enjoy my relationship with myself. (awesomsauce.wordpress.com)
- I Forgive You (namasteconsultinginc.com)
Thank you for sharing this… it is truly a wonderful example of how we can find healing and peace even with those who judge us.
Keep on loving!
~ Ben
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